


Signing Off

by MamaWardentotheRescue



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, I made myself sad, death and pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 14:53:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5167988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MamaWardentotheRescue/pseuds/MamaWardentotheRescue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"This is Commander Shepard, signing off."</p><p>i'm really sorry</p>
            </blockquote>





	Signing Off

Muffled explosions echoed in the distance. Dust and debris clouded the battleground. Asha Vakarian and her two brothers, Thaniel and Mordred, searched the bones of the collapsed buildings in hopes to find their parents. The sound of gunshots rung in their ears; the possibility that their search would be in vain grew with every step they took.

 

Under the debris of a fallen building not close by, Vivian Shepard’s eyes flickered open. She could see that a wall and something metal had fallen on top of her. With a pain filled growl she pushed the rock and metal off of her body. Shepard fell into a coughing fit as dusty air filled her lungs. She surveyed her surroundings; dread dropped like a heavy stone in her stomach. She called out for Garrus, but her husband didn’t answer. That’s when she saw him close by from where she was propped up. Shepard dragged herself, crying out in pain as her thigh twinges in pain, sending what felt like a shockwave up her bleeding side. _Broken femur and shrapnel damage, shit._

Her pain was quickly pushed aside when she reached her turian. A sharp piece of steal was protruding from his armour. Blue blood seeped from the cracks.

“Garrus?” she whispered, praying to every deity that she was wrong, that it wasn't him. She grabbed his face, moving it so he was facing her. A guttural sob escaped her lips as his lifeless, blue eyes pierced her. The roguish glint that once locked her gaze was gone...just like him. _No, no, no. You can’t do that! There’s no Shepard without Vakarian, remember?_

Fighter ships zoomed across the sky with a screech. It matched the screams of the old spectre.

 

Close by Thaniel’s head snapped up. His turian hearing was stronger than his human sister’s and krogan brother’s. He knew that scream, though. The first time their mother made that kind of noise was when she thought Grunt had squashed a two-year old Mordred in one of their many play fights.

“She’s close.” Thaniel called out to them. He could feel his biotic powers build up inside of him as they rushed forward, climbing over blocks of rubble. Asha readied her sniper rifle in case it was a trap, while adrenaline rushed through Mordred’s veins. Their mother and father were going to be safe…right?

 

Shepard tried to send out a distress signal to anyone from her omni-tool, but it had been damaged in the explosion just as she had been. Her burnt flesh started to feel numb, and she could tell that shock was starting to kick in. It wasn't a good sign, and neither was her blurry vision. She looked at the body of Garrus Vakarian beside her. _If I’m to die, let it be soon. I can’t bear to see him like this anymore._

Her omni-tool beeped, indicating that the only thing that wasn’t damaged was the calculator and recording device. _Typical._

She clicked the record button and watched her bloodied and bruised face flashed up on the orange screen. With a broken voice, Shepard croaked, “To those who are watching, I’m most likely dead. God, _I hope I am._ Garrus Vakarian…has died in the explosion that undoubtedly has taken my life as well. I wanted to record this message for our friends, family, and most importantly our children who we loved dearly. It’s been a good ride… _the best_.”

Thoughts of their old friends flashed in her mind like a vid. The friends and family they had lost, as well as gained. And the memories, both good and bad. She remembered her wedding and how Joker, Tali and Jack drunk the bar dry, and James challenged Garrus’ sister to a dance off. She remembered the first day back from their honeymoon, and Garrus tried to cook eggs, but failed miserably. It seemed like such a long time ago...and yet, also felt like only a short time had passed.

“We are travellers, constantly moving forward…and looking back. Alone…and _as one_. We have no choice but to try. For our insatiable curiosity.”

The vivid memories of worlds being destroyed by Reapers exploded into her mind like fireworks. She remembered Legion freeing the geth mind, but died in the process. _Does this unit have a soul?_ And she remembered Mordin doing everything he could to cure the genophage. _It had to be me. Someone else could have gotten it wrong_. She remembered Ashley’s sacrifice on Virmire to save Kaidan. _You know it's the right thing to do, LT_. And Thane’s sacrifice in hope to keep Shepard’s own life safe. Finally, she thought of Anderson. He was a man who was like her father, only to be shot down by her own bullet.

“For our fear of what should happen if we don’t. _You_ are that explorer now.”

Shepard thought of their children; Asha, the oldest of the three, and shares the same sharpshooting skills of her father. She remembered when they brought her home, and when Garrus held her for the first time. That was the first time Shepard had seen him cry.

Thaniel, the middle child of three, and skilled biotic. She remembered the day showed signs of his power. He made his father’s paintbrushes dance over the canvas. Instead of getting angry, Garrus applauded the five-year old turian.

And Mordred, the youngest of the three, and living juggernaut. She remembered the first time they saw him in the nursery on Tuchunka, and Eve handed her over to him. Garrus joked about Grunt being jealous of another krogan getting all the attention.

“We will say goodbye and you will look back one last time and know that wherever you go, _we will be with you_.”

Despite her faith in her Asha’s tracking skills, Shepard knew she wouldn’t find her in time. Despite Thaniel’s powerful biotic skills, Shepard knew he wouldn’t be able to save her life. And despite Mordred’s tremendous strength, Shepard knew he would be crushed by the weight of his parents’ death.

But she did know _they would live on._

With a small smile and tears running down her face, she rasped, “This is Commander Shepard, signing off.”


End file.
